A Woman with Bipolar Asks: Does Anyone Fully Understand?
Jacquelin Bliss
BEFORE YOU READ:
Manic depression is when you have periods of mania and periods of depression. Look at the chart on the right and discuss.
Growing up was tough. I could never figure out why I wasn’t like other kids. I wasn’t diagnosed until 10 years ago when I was in my early twenties. I have Bipolar type 1, which is sometimes known as manic depression. Mental illness can be very traumatic for a person and their family.
In school, I had trouble remembering what my teachers taught me. I got frustrated and this led to “flip-out episodes” and even self-harm. Then I felt mad at myself for not being able to control myself. I would talk down to myself and blame myself. Math was very hard for me. It got to the point where I would think about not living because I couldn’t understand math like other students could. It was really sad because all I ever wanted was to be “normal” like everybody else.
No one knew what was wrong with me. My parents thought I was just acting out. I went to numerous counselors. Doctors put me on and off medication. Some medication made me feel more depressed to the point where I stopped talking. Other medications made me feel hyper.
Finally, they found the right medications for me. Thank God! Today, if I miss taking my medication or I miss a session with my therapist, I am pretty much a train wreck. I can’t focus. I get distracted. My anxiety gets worse. My depression makes me feel like I cannot get out of bed.
Now, as an adult, I can pretty much handle my episodes or outbursts. Of course, I need to be on my medication. Some days are worse than others, but I get through them now just fine because I know my own red flags and triggers. Help and good support keeps me grounded.
However, to this day, I don’t think my family fully understands what it’s like to have a mental illness. But they do try and they do support me, and that’s what counts the most.
AFTER YOU READ:
1. According to the author, what helps her manage her mental health today?
2. What does the author mean when she says she is a train wreck? (See p. 9 for more information on metaphors and similes.)
Jacquelin Bliss is a student at Westbay Community Action Adult Education Academy in Warwick, RI. She loves to inspire people and be outgoing. She is a talented illustrator, and she would love to work as a clothing designer.