That Boy

Anna Feshchenko

BEFORE YOU READ:
When you were growing up, was there anyone in your community that the children were curious about but the adults did not acknowledge?

I Knew My Neighbors
When I was growing up, we lived in a big apartment building, and we had a lot of neighbors. There was a playground where I played with kids. I spent a lot of time there and knew almost everyone who lived in our building.

But there was an apartment on the third floor that scared me and the other children. A couple lived there—a man and a woman. They were a mystery to me. I couldn’t tell their age. They didn’t show emotions. We did not say hello. And there was a big secret behind their door.

Except One
Sometimes, we heard strange sounds coming from their apartment. The sound definitely belonged to a human, but it was incoherent and heart-wrenching. When I heard it for the first time, I came to my mom with big round eyes full of fear. Mom told me not to speak about it anymore, and that made me more scared.

All my friends’ parents had the same response. No one explained to us about those sounds. So we told each other all sorts of stories about the sounds. We spread rumors about terrible monsters that lived behind that door.

One evening, I looked out of our window and saw that couple walking down the street. They were leading a man by the arms. This man acted like a toddler, but he was a grown man. He dragged his feet and leaned on his parents. His eyes were blank, and he shook his head in a strange way. I was really scared. I closed the curtains so that I did not have to see him.

Who Was More Disabled?
I ran to my mom and asked her who it was. She said, “We do not talk about that. Don’t even think about it.” Now, I was really scared. Was my mom, with all her power, even more scared than I was?

My mom wouldn’t talk about it, but she could not forbid me to think about what I saw. I laid in bed thinking about that family. I was scared of the boy, but I also felt sorry for him. He couldn’t walk well, and he was obviously the one making the strange noises. Were his parents keeping him mostly locked up in the apartment? Were they embarrassed by him? Did his existence make all the parents in the building embarrassed? Is that why they wouldn’t talk about him?

I almost forgot that story from my childhood, but one question is still haunting me. Who was more disabled—that boy or all the people that would not acknowledge him?

AFTER YOU READ:
1. In your own words, describe what was going on with the children and the adults in this story.
2. What does it mean to be haunted by a question?
3. Discuss Anna’s question at the end: Who is more disabled—that boy or the people that would not acknowledge him?

Anna Feshchenko is a student at Thomas Jefferson Adult Career Education in Charlottesville, Virginia. She came from Russia a year ago to reunite with her family. She loves literature. Writing her own stories in English has been a rewarding challenge. Thanks to the Advanced Writing class and her wonderful teacher, she was able to write this story for The Change Agent.

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My Uncle and Me

Dmitry Korolev

BEFORE YOU READ:
1. What does it mean to feel ashamed?
2. Share what your know about World War II. (Note the use of Roman numerals. If you’re not sure what they are, look it up.)

As a Child, I Was Shy of Him
My uncle Victor was born with a hearing and speech impairment and some physical disabilities. As a child, I was shy of my uncle. Maybe I worried that if people saw these peculiarities in my uncle, they would think that something was wrong with me. Some part of me knew that this was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. Now, I realize that he had only visible flaws, and these flaws had no effect on his human qualities. I am still ashamed of that feeling to this day.

In the Soviet Union, He Had a High-Paying Job
He grew up in the 1960s in the Soviet Union. He went to a special school for children with disabilities. My uncle lived with his mother, my grandmother, in the small town of Vyshniy Volochek, located between Moscow and St. Petersburg. My mother, sister, and I usually visited them for summer vacations. In turn, my uncle would sometimes come to visit us.

Those were difficult times. The Soviet Union had won the war and was being rebuilt from the ruins. Nevertheless, the state made great efforts to rehabilitate disabled people and people with limited abilities. A large number of high-paying jobs were created for disabled people. The money he earned was very important for the family at that time. Society mostly accepted disabled people, probably because there were a huge number of people who had become disabled during World War II.

The years went by. I finished school and get out of bed.

He Cared for His Mother
My uncle was with her the whole time. He helped her with everything until her last breath. He was the only one who took care of my grandmother. At that time, none of her other children nor her grandchildren helped. We visited them only occasionally. But mostly we hid behind the “important and urgent” matters of our daily life. If we could, we helped financially. But these efforts were more like clumsy attempts to justify our absence than real help.

He Shows Kindness and Love to My Children
To this day, I often reflect on my uncle’s life. I think about how my grandmother loved him and always helped him, even though it must have been hard for her at times. I think about how he repaid her for her care by staying with her until the end. My uncle never complained or asked for any help, even in the most difficult times. Now Viktor is 70 years old. We visit him during the summer holidays. He enjoys playing with my children. He does so with the same kindness and love that he did many years ago when he played with me and my sister.

I Hope They Will Be Like Him
I am trying to understand why it took me 40 years to go from feeling shy of my uncle to feeling proud of him. Most importantly, how do I explain to my kids that I really want them to be like their great-uncle Victor, who is clumsy and who can’t hear or speak well, and who they are also probably a little shy of for now.

AFTER YOU READ:
1. What are the qualities that Dimitry appreciated about his Uncle Victor? Be specific
2. How did Dimitry’s feelings about his uncle evolve over time?
3. How was Uncle Victor treated in the former Soviet Union?
4. In the 5th paragraph, why is “important and urgent” in quotes? What does Dimitry mean by this sentence: “But these efforts were more like clumsy attempts to justify our absence than real help.”
5. Look at the other words in bold and use context clues to think about what they mean.
6. Look at the map (left) of the former Soviet Union. Share what you know about this area. Why have Russia and Ukraine been in the news lately?

Dimitry Korolev was born in 1969 in the Soviet Union. In 2021, he immigrated with his family to the United States. He is an entrepreneur. Dmitry is a student at Tomas Jefferson Adult Career Education at Piedmont Virginia Community College in Charlottesville, VA.

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Lessons from My Brother: Growing through Struggle

Ana Elisa Damaceno

BEFORE YOU READ:
1. What does it mean to “grow through struggle?” If you can, share a time that a struggle helped you grow.
2. Think about the word premature. Notice the prefix and the root word. What does it mean?
3. As you read, underline the places in the text where the author describes how having a disabled brother affected her.

Fabio
Growing up with a younger brother who has a disability has changed me in ways I never expected. My little brother Fabio is the best person I have ever known. He was born as a premature baby in 1995, and he had damage to his lungs and his heart.

I was a child when he was born, so I could not understand a lot of about it, but I knew something was going on. My mother did not know he had the problem until months after he was born. She was having a hard time feeding him. When he started to cry, his body turned blue, and he could not breathe. She took him to the hospital, and they told her about all his health problems.

My Mother
Everything got harder when she had to go back to work. She needed to make money to care for him and me and my other brother. Now, she had even more expenses, like medication, to take care of my brother.

My aunt took care of my brother, so my mother could work. However, almost every single month she had to miss work because he was sick. She had to stay home with him or stay in the hospital with him. At some point, she had to stop working so she could take care of him.

When he started going to preschool, more challenges began because we did not live near a good school to support him and his disability. My mother found a good school, but it was far away from our home. She had to pay for private transportation so he could go to school. It was difficult for us because we did not have enough money. My stepfather was the only one working to take care of three kids and my mother.

My mother tried to find free transportation but because he could walk, they did not give it to him. He could walk short distances, but even then, he would get out of breath. He did not have enough oxygen getting to his lungs and heart. As he became older, his problems got worse. He was dependent on medications every day, and he started to be sick more often. He spent more time in the hospital. His condition was rare. Doctors were still learning about it.

A New Awareness
Having a brother with a disability has affected me in meaningful and unexpected ways. I didn’t understand his diagnosis. But I could clearly see that his life was challenging and difficult for him and my mother. When we got older, I started to see how the world wasn’t always built for someone like him. This awareness changed me. It opened my eyes to empathy, patience, and support.

His journey has not just taught me to be more patient and empathetic, but has also made me stronger. My brother taught me to never give up. He was a big reason why I came to the United States to try to have a better life and opportunities.

Today, I have those lessons with me always and forever, especially because he’s not here with us anymore. Losing him was one of the most difficult experiences of my life, but his impact on me remains permanent and powerful. He taught me how to support my friends and my clients and how to face my own problems. I do so with determination and strength.

Because of Him
I am so lucky to have had the opportunity to grow up by his side. I am who I am because of him and my mother too. I wouldn’t change that for anything. My youngest brother has been my greatest teacher. His presence in my life has made me more sensitive and more open-hearted. If I am kinder, more patient, and more understanding today, it is because of him.

My youngest brother was one of the happiest people I have ever known. Everyone who met him loved him—not because of his situation, but because of his genuine love, his happy spirit, and his deep faith. Sometimes, I think of him as my angel gift from God. He never complained. Instead of getting mad, he always chose to smile. He chose joy. Because of him, I see the world very differently than I would without him. I want to help others feel accepted and valued, just like he deserved to be. I’m proud of who I have become, and I have my brother to thank for that.

AFTER YOU READ:
In what ways did Ana Elisa’s brother change her? Be specific. Refer to the parts of the text that you underlined.

Ana Elisa Damaceno is a student at Santa Rosa Junior College in Santa Rosa, California. She has been in the United States for four years. Prior to this, she was living in Brazil. When she first arrived, she did not speak any English. She has been taking ESL classes to improve her language skills to better help her work in her chosen field as a nutritionist.

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Polio Could Not Defeat My Brother

Tamthi Wrightson

BEFORE YOU READ:
1. Share what you know about polio.
2. Think about the verb to defeat. What does it mean? Can you name a synonym for defeat?

Born in Vietnam
I was born in Vietnam in a big family. My mom and dad had 11 children. We lived in small house in Ho Chi Minh City. It is sunny, hot, and humid all summer long. There are a lot of shops, and the street food is very good. Since it is not far from the beach, sometimes my parents took us there.

In the summer, the beautiful water is clear and peaceful. There are mountains all around.

My Brother Got Polio
I have a brother, Khan. He is one year older than me. He got polio when he was three years old. As a result, he could not walk. When he turned six, he started walking with a cane. He used his hand to support his leg because one of his legs was very weak and a lot smaller than the other leg. Whenever we went somewhere, he just sat there.

When we started school, I had to help carry his stuff for school. Sometimes, I felt like I was his parent even though he is one year older than me. We did not have a school bus like in the United States. We had to wake up very early to walk to school together because it took him a long time.

He Followed His Dream
Other kids often bullied him. They often pushed him to the ground and laughed at him. I would fight with those boys and try to protect my brother. He was a very smart kid, and he was in the top ten of his class. When we took swimming lessons, he beat all the kids his age. He can swim very well—like a fish. When he was in the 7th grade, he was able to fix small electronics, like radios, speakers, and TVs.

His dream was to be an engineer. When we came to the United States, we lived in South Dakota. Khan got a job in a small shop where they fixed TVs, computers, and other items. He continued to learn, even when he was not working. He was very good at it. Now he works in California for a medical equipment supply company, and he is a team leader. I am so proud of him. Polio could not defeat my brother.

AFTER YOU READ:
1. According to the author, her brother was not defeated by polio. What evidence does she share to make her point?
2. The author uses the simile like a fish to describe how her brother swims. Try making your own similes to describe human movement. For example, compare running, walking, eating, hopping, or some other movement to that of an animal.
3. The author says she felt like a parent to her brother even though he is one year older. What is the role of even though in that sentence? Use even though in a couple of your own sentences.
4. Read about the polio vaccine in the box on the right, and watch the 1:47-minute video on the WHO website.

Tamtha Wrightson is a student an ESOL student at the Arlington Public Library in Arlington, Texas. She came to the U.S. in 1992 when she was just 19 with only one carry-on piece of luggage. She became a U.S. Citizen in 1998 and eventually moved to Texas in 2005. She works as a Dental Technician and enjoys spending time with her family and traveling.

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A Whole Woman

J. Antonio Rodríguez Carreon

BEFORE YOU READ:
1. What is a prosthesis?
2. What are qualities? What qualities do you look for in a person?

Many Beautiful Qualities
“Oh, she is really pretty!” I thought when I saw my new co-worker. As the days went by, I became more interested in her. She was determined, cheerful, gentle, and had many other beautiful qualities.

A Unique Way of Walking
One day, I decided to invite her for a walk. She accepted! Over time, our walks continued. Her way of walking was very unique. I asked her friends about it. I found out that she used a prosthesis due to a birth defect. She had a problem with one leg. The doctors had to amputate one leg above the knee.

The Big Question
We continued dating until one day, I decided to ask her the big question: “Do you want to be my girlfriend? I have found in you everything I was looking for. You are a whole woman.”

She responded, “A whole woman?” “Yes,” I said. “A whole woman!”

We looked into each other’s eyes and laughed.

A year later, we got married. We had three beautiful children. Our marriage, like many others, had ups and downs.

A Question That Surprised Me
Some years later, we met a young couple. In a private moment, they asked me, “How long had you been married to your wife when the accident happened?”

The question surprised me. They assumed my wife had an accident after we were married. They thought I would never marry someone who already had a disability. I realized that most people think that living with someone with a disability is an accident and cannot be a free choice!

Yes, this life is hard, but it is not a curse. With the support of others, it is more bearable. A cross carried by many weighs less!

Why not recognize ourselves as individuals with imperfections? Why not recognize ourselves as people with disabilities, which we all have to a greater or lesser degree? Disabilities are part of being human.

After 40 years of marriage to a disabled person, I can say for sure, “She is
a whole woman. I love Lore!”

AFTER YOU READ:
1. Why did the author choose the title, “A Whole Woman”?
2. What do you think of the author’s statement that we all have disabilities to a greater or lesser degree?

Antonio Rodríguez Carreon is a student at Ysleta Community Learning Center in El Paso, Texas. He has been living for two years in a new city, a new country, and a new world. He’s struggling every day to make his dreams come true. This is his second article for The Change Agent. The first was published on p. 3 of Issue 63. The Title is “We Need Rules” (see the box below).

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